Hubby Butch kills wasp, who moments before divebombed him while in the bathroom in a vulnerable position (Butch not the wasp), showing the wasp who's Boss and taking old-style Western vengeance by cutting the be-stingered flying interloper in thirds with his pocket knife, yelling, "Take that you Lilly-livered polecat!"
*Hour later*
Wife enters room to see sad-faced hubby, who says, "He won't die."
Wife, alarmed, asks, "Who won't die?"
Hubby answers, "The wasp."
Wife asks for explanation, which she gets, with husband adding, "Every time I go in there his little head is looking up at me with his tentacles waving, like he's asking for help and his body is still trying to walk and fly. It's enough to make you feel bad." *pouty face*
Wife wonders where real husband has gone off to and who THIS softie is and how he got into her house.
Wife responds, "Huh. Well first of all they're not tentacles, they're antennas ..."
Hubby answered, "Now see? This is why no one likes you."
Wife ignores outrageous lies coming from Hubby and goes to check out wasp carnage, who (which?) is in fact waving and struggling and looking pitiful. Wife gently picks up parts of dying wasp, lovingly lays him (her?) in a kleenex shroud, rolling him up gently, then hurls him into the woodstove whereby he bursts into glorious flames, thereby ending his misery, when Hubby asks incredulously, "You're gonna BURN him??!!"
Wife answered, "I'm doing what YOU should have done an hour ago. He's dead now and suffering no more. Why didn't you just smush him with your shoe?"
Hubby snorts and says, "He was on the window! How was I supposed to get my foot up that high? Sheesh!"
And there ends another episode of Life at Crazy Mountain Manor, a place of suffering and death to all flying, stinging varmints but an Official Safe Zone to Stink Bugs and home to a Big Ole Softie. ;)
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