Drama Queen Much?

SUCH a Drama Queen man that I have, I swear. 

Oh, you think not do you? You think I'm being snarky and exaggerative? 

Okay then, you can decide for yourself. Here's what happened: 

Recently I cleaned out a closet and decided to take two boxes of books to a our public library the next day. Being knee deep in paring down mode, I thought, "Hey! While I'm cleaning things out, I might as well get rid of a bunch of our dumb DVD's too!" 

I picked out a bunch of DVD's that we never watched or were too boring, stupid, violent or awful to ever watch again (the new 'Dune' comes to mind). I felt great about getting rid of them even if I was foisting them onto an unsuspecting public. Hey, I couldn't just throw them away, now could I? That would be wasteful. 

I put them all in a bag on the counter to take with me to town, very satisfied with my housecleaning project. Boy it felt so good to purge! 

Later,  I saw that bag innocently sitting there and thought, "Wait a minute. If the resident pack rat, also known as Butch, sees those DVD's, he'll snatch them right up and make me put them back. I better hide them in the truck so he won't see them." 

Well, when he got home later that night, I looked out the window and saw him head straight for the truck and OPEN THE TRUCK DOOR. Oh NO. The bag o' movies! He's gonna see it. Maybe he won't see it. 

He saw it. 

Absolute BELLOW from outside, "WTHECK! WHERE are these movies GOING?!!!" 

OH SHIP. 

I jogged outside and reaching for the bag, said, "Uh, they were just the stupid ones. You don't care about any of those. Just a bunch of Chick Flicks." (I was SURE that would make him drop the bag immediately.) 

But no. He snatches the bag back from me and proceeds to go through the whole entire thing, gasping and shrieking at each one, "DUNE? You got rid of Dune?!? Aliens and Cowboys? You're giving AWAY Aliens and Cowboys?? EXPENDABLES 13?? NO! these are CLASSICS! How COULD you?"  And on and on and on. FOR. EACH. MOVIE. Twenty of them.

I watched this testosterone-filled, manly man instantly transform into a Drama Queen having a royal hissy fit, complete with unroyal bad language. Which I will relate here with less of a potty mouth. 

"What in tarnation?! Put these doggone movies right back! You jackleg rumpot! Hiding them from me in the truck. Golly Christmas! I can't believe you did that. What else of mine have you gotten rid of??!! Hockeypuck and sunny beaches! Ooohhhh, is that what you've been doing all this time? Blaming my not being able to find a movie on my being old and having a bad memory while you've been giving them all away! Ohhh that's honking evil!! Treason! Heresy! It'll take me a whole week to get over that. Mother hummer! Aaahhhh!" 

And all I was doing this whole time was laughing my fool head off. I couldn't help it! He actually grew a crown on his head and sprouted a pink skirt, I kid you not. 

And for maximum effect I added, "Hey, you're lucky that your favorite movie Terror in Tiny Town wasn't in there." Snicker. 

His eyeballs popped right out of his head. "OMG! UNbelievable! I'm gonna have a anermism!" 

OMG that was funny. Poor baby. I did indeed put the movies back with a strict, high-pitched warning from Butchamina the D.Q. to NEVER EVER do that again!  And then he flounced right down to watch Dune. Bah. 

I hid the movies again the next day. 

(Endnote: In the pursuit of literary integrity and honesty, I admit that I enjoy these flamboyant, dramatic displays of his so much that I might, just might, be guilty of engineering them. Maybe.  😏)